From Fearful to Fearless: 6 Ways Anxiety can F*ck Up Our Goals
Learn how to conquer anxiety and make real progress on your goals.
It's incredible to think of what may have been* if anxiety didn't get in the way. The roots of anxiety feed lines of negative self-talk to that evil Kermit in our minds.
evil Kermit feeding your anxiety
Those fears lead to the vaporization of any motivation to move forward on goals, let alone make progress. Let's talk about these fears, one by one, and how they can sabotage goal-setting. We will also discuss strategies to help push those anxieties away and use those energies positively.
1. Fear of Judgement or Rejection
It is no surprise to us that we fear judgment and rejection. Neurodivergent people often deal with the dreaded Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), or extreme anguish and/or pain when rejection is perceived or received. We often fear how people will react to our goals and aspirations. Maybe they are "too big," "too out of this world," or "too weird." These judgments hit us hard, and dig deep into our self-worth. These fears keep us from ever starting toward our goal.
What strategy can I offer to help reduce that fear of judgment or rejection? MAKE THE GOAL ANYWAY. People will ALWAYS have an opinion about what you should and shouldn't do. Perhaps it is a huge departure from what they are used to from you. So what? Surround yourself with supportive people, like those in the Accountable Otters Club, along the way. They can make all the difference in your progress.
2. Fear of Discontent
When we are always striving for our lives to change into something different, this can lead to us being unhappy with our lives as they stand. This is the classic "keeping up with the Joneses" dilemma. It doesn't bode well for your current life if you're always thinking about what others have or what they achieve. This discontentment leaves us unmotivated and stuck.
Remember, STOP COMPARING yourself to others around you. There is no one on your exact path in life, and it doesn't help you, in the long run, to always be thinking about others. The purpose of goal-setting is to push yourself to grow & change on your unique path.
3. Fear of the Unknown
Fear of the unknown results from a lack of clarity on our path toward goal achievement. It can be overwhelming and is rooted in those feelings of choosing the wrong path. Those anxious voices in your head will always tell you a host of "What ifs" regarding your potential path. Sifting through those voices with a fine-toothed comb, you can see which ones have merit to help give you a path to clarity.
How do you gain clarity when you don't know what's coming? Prepare yourself, research, understand, and talk to others about your goals. Watch some YouTube videos. Learn from others who are doing what you want to be doing. Remember: doing nothing is a short path to nowhere. If we make the wrong choice, we will have at least learned something along the way.
4. Fear of Failure
This is perhaps the most common form of anxiety in goal-setting and achievement. We ruminate through a cycle of potential failing scenarios, giving steam to the anxious energy suppressing your goal-setting and progress. It can be extremely difficult to make progress on a goal in which this energy is present. It is heavy and soul-sucking.
The most important thing to remember here is that you CANNOT FAIL if you choose to learn from each mistake you make (and you'll make plenty of them). Always try again. It may be different, but you'll find a way if that goal is meaningful.
5. Fear of Success
The fear of success is a tricky one to understand. This is the one I have the most trouble with. My anxiety lives in this dark corner of my mind, hoarding my energy and attention. It involves the acceptance that it is necessary to get out of your comfort zone and lean on people and systems to help you scale and grow. It leads to us feeling unprepared for if things go "RIGHT," leading to self-sabotaging behaviors. Self-sabotage is a dream crusher. You can SEE your goals, and you can PICTURE yourself there! But ultimately, you end up setting yourself up to fail because you're afraid of leaving that comfortable place.
The best way to tackle success fears is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Get some of that nervousness and use it to do one thing that makes you a bit afraid. If that anxious energy is rooted in inspiration and creativity, then it can really help push you!
6. Fear of Boredom
It's no surprise that anxiety for ADHDers may include something like fear of boredom, as it can be a monumental feat to motivate us to progress on our goals if they are YAWN... boring. This is LITERALLY what a pivot or change is for. If you need to find a way to inject some interest into your goal progression, you should take the time to consider what you can do to change things up to spark that novelty again. A good recent example is an AOC member working on his degree while simultaneously looking for work. He realized his job search would be less tedious if it aligned with something new and fresh, so now he is working on a TEFL certification to become an English teacher.
Novelty and interest MUST be a part of goal progression for neurodivergent folks.
Coping with anxiety while setting goals is possible and, dare I say, necessary so that your goals go from being ambiguous blobs to tangible things. You can do this!
Changing the Narrative: Conquering Negative Self-Talk
How can we begin to change the narrative in our minds?
It comes as no surprise that neurodivergents can be more prone to negative self-talk than other people. It is important to recognize the power of changing the narrative and embracing positive affirmations.
No, I’m not saying to incorporate that “toxic positivity.” In fact, I am encouraging you to break free from the grip of self-criticism and foster a more nurturing relationship with yourself.
The Power of Affirmations:
Positive affirmations are potent tools for reshaping the narrative around your neurodivergence. These affirmations act as positive anchors in the sea of self-doubt. Some affirmations I use personally include, “I am growing every day” and “I am capable.” By consistently repeating affirmations, we can rewire our brains, creating new neural pathways that foster self-empowerment.
Affirmations go beyond mere positivity; they remind you daily of your strengths and capabilities. As we embrace and internalize these positive messages, they build a foundation for self-esteem and resilience, countering the pervasive negativity that seeps in as we try to exist in a world that wasn’t built for us.
Embracing Self-Compassion:
Self-compassion is a cornerstone in the journey of changing the narrative around neurodivergence, and especially ADHD. It involves acknowledging that everyone, regardless of their neurodivergence, deserves kindness and understanding.
By incorporating self-compassion into our daily lives, we can create a space for acceptance and resilience. Embracing the understanding that our neurodivergence is a part of who we are, not a measure of our worth, empowers us to navigate challenges with a gentle approach.
Understanding the Shame Spiral:
The shame spiral is an insidious aspect of negative self-talk, creating a cycle that is challenging to break. It often begins with a mistake or perceived failure, triggering feelings of inadequacy and self-blame. Recognizing the shame spiral is crucial, and practicing self-compassion becomes essential.
How would you support a friend in a shame spiral? What would you tell them? Think of this instead of succumbing to self-blame, as it can help us acknowledge our challenges with empathy and understanding.
Cultivating a Growth Mindset:
A growth mindset complements affirmations and self-compassion by encouraging us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and development. Embracing the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and effort fosters resilience in the face of neurodivergence-related obstacles. Personally, I feel like this is easier said than done. But that doesn’t change the evidence of how a growth mindset can positively affect our approach to challenges.
We must recognize that setbacks are not permanent failures but stepping stones toward progress. A growth mindset encourages us to approach difficulties with curiosity and perseverance.
Changing the narrative of negative self-talk involves a holistic approach that includes positive affirmations, recognition of the shame spiral, and the cultivation of a growth mindset. Adding self-compassion to this toolkit provides a balm for the wounds of self-criticism and creates a foundation for a more nurturing relationship with yourself. Remember, kindness to yourself is not only a choice but a powerful and transformative practice.
Navigating the Labyrinth of Failure
In what ways can you cope?
Let's talk about the elephant in the room: failure. It's that daunting F-word that tends to send shivers down our spines, triggering self-doubt and anxiety. But here's the thing – failure is not a dead end; it's a pit stop on the road to success. So, how can we overcome the inevitable setbacks that life throws at us?
1. Redefine Success on Your Terms:
First things first, let's redefine success. It's not about meeting society's arbitrary standards but rather about achieving your personal goals and milestones. Embrace your unique strengths and talents, and figure out how to best measure those successes on your own terms. Whether it's mastering a new skill, building meaningful connections, or finding joy in your passions, success should reflect your journey, not someone else's.
2. Celebrate Small Wins:
In a world obsessed with grand achievements, it's critical to celebrate the small victories along the way. Neurodivergent minds often excel in attention to detail and focused dedication. Take pride in your progress, no matter how minor it may seem. These small wins pave the way for larger triumphs, and each step forward is a testament to your strength and resilience.
3. Cultivate a Supportive Community:
You are not alone on this journey. Surround yourself with a crew of understanding and empathetic individuals who appreciate and celebrate your neurodiversity. (Hint hint! The Accountable Otters Club is a great place for this!) Share your struggles and triumphs with those who uplift and inspire you. A supportive community acts as a safety net during challenging times, offering valuable perspectives and encouragement.
4. Learn and Adapt:
Failure is not a signal to surrender; it's an invitation to learn and adapt. Neurodivergents often possess a remarkable capacity for innovation and out-of-the-box thinking. Channel this creativity into problem-solving. Analyze what went wrong, understand the lessons, and use that knowledge to refine your approach. Every setback is a stepping stone to growth.
5. Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself. Understand that setbacks are a part of the human experience, and perfection is an unrealistic standard. Embrace self-compassion as a powerful tool in your toolkit. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges. Remember, you are deserving of love, acceptance, and forgiveness, especially from yourself.
6. Embrace Your Neurodivergent Strengths:
Neurodivergent minds are unique, gifted, and capable of so much. Embrace the strengths that come with your unique neurology – whether it's heightened creativity, intense focus, or a keen eye for detail. Leverage these strengths to overcome obstacles and turn failures into opportunities for growth.
In the grand tapestry of life, failure is just one thread, weaving a story of resilience, strength, and triumph. Embrace the journey, learn from the setbacks, and remember that you are not defined by your failures but by your courage to rise again.
How to Set Goals Without Shame
Setting goals without shame is possible. Learn how here.
It’s mid-January. Have you already abandoned your “New Year’s Resolutions” like me? I stopped setting New Year’s resolutions about a decade ago, but I still try to set some realistic goals. Heck, I even tried the “Word of the Year” a few times, just realizing that by the end of each year, my word ends up being “SURVIVE.”
Setting goals is a common practice for personal growth and development, but for neurodivergents, traditional goal-setting approaches may not always align with our unique strengths and challenges. I want to create a compassionate and empowering guide to setting goals without shame, tailored by us, and for us.
Understanding Neurodivergence:
It’s no surprise that we neurodivergents possess extraordinary talents, creativity, and unique perspectives. However, the “run of the mill” motivation Mondays and “never give up” attitudes of traditional goal setting can sometimes feel overwhelming and lead to feelings of shame or frustration. We have to embrace our authenticity so we gain a better understanding that the journey towards achieving goals might be different than the neurotypical Nancys of the world.
Embrace Neurodivergent Strengths:
The first way to do this is by acknowledging and celebrating our strengths! Whether it's hyperfocus, attention to detail, or creative thinking, understanding and leveraging these strengths can be the foundation for setting meaningful goals that make sense to you.
Break Goals into Manageable Steps:
I constantly talk about the benefits of breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. It’s because it really helps in minimizing overwhelm and allows for a more focused and achievable path toward success. Creating a step-by-step plan can help navigate challenges associated with executive function, making the goal feel more attainable and less anxiety-inducing.
Utilize Visual Aids and Timelines:
Are you a post-it note or planner person? There’s a reason for that! Visual aids and timelines can be powerful tools for our brains. Create visual representations of goals, timelines, and progress trackers to enhance clarity and provide a tangible sense of achievement. What doesn’t help is if we start shaming ourselves for not “sticking with” these tools. Do not shame yourself for getting bored with something or abandoning a strategy! It is in our nature as neurodivergents to shift and change as we make progress.
Embrace Flexibility:
We are in our FLEXIBILE ERA. Recognize that achieving goals may not always follow a linear path. We are known for choosing to follow our interests or the “butterflies” that show up on our path to goal achievement. That is okay. Embrace flexibility, adjust timelines if needed, and celebrate progress rather than focusing solely on the end result. This mindset shift fosters resilience and self-compassion.
Seek Support and Connection:
Setting goals and making progress cannot happen in a vacuum without any support from your friends and loved ones. Connect with like-minded individuals, join neurodivergent communities (like the Accountable Otters Club!), or seek guidance from mentors who understand you. Shared experiences and support can be powerful motivators.
We are here, making real progress toward a more inclusive and compassionate approach to goal-setting, smashing shame all along the way. What would you add to this list?
Remember, every step forward is worthy of celebrating, no matter how small.
The Art of Breaking Toxic Productivity Cycles
How making rest a priority can make you more effective and productive.
The pursuit of productivity often feels like a never-ending race. We are flooded daily with videos and messaging about “productivity hacks” and “how to get more done.” The pressure to do more, achieve more, and be constantly on the go can lead to a cycle of toxic productivity that can harm our physical and mental health. Making rest a top priority is the key to breaking this cycle and achieving a balanced and sustainable life.
Toxic productivity is the relentless drive to accomplish more without considering the cost to one's well-being.
It's a dangerous mindset that can lead to burnout, stress, and a diminished quality of life. Breaking free from this cycle requires a conscious effort to change your approach to work and life.
Here are some practical steps to help you break the toxic productivity cycle:
Acknowledge the Problem: The first step is recognizing that you may be stuck in a toxic productivity loop. Understand that productivity doesn't mean working all day, every day. It's about working smart, not hard. As neurodivergents, we need to understand our susceptibility to cycles of toxic productivity with things like hyperfocus.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Create a designated workspace and try your best to stick to a general daily schedule. When your work hours are over, shut down your devices and disconnect from work-related activities. This is especially important for entrepreneurs, as the “work hours” can feel like they never end. Be deliberate in defining those hours for yourself.
Prioritize Self-Care: Making time for self-care is crucial. Prioritize activities that rejuvenate your mind and body, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. Remember that self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for your well-being.
Schedule Regular Breaks: Don't underestimate the power of short breaks during the workday. Step away from your desk, go for a walk, or simply close your eyes and breathe. These mini-resets or brain breaks can boost productivity and creativity.
Embrace the Power of 'No': You don't have to say yes to everything. Learn to say no to tasks and commitments that add unnecessary stress to your life. Guard your time and energy fiercely.
Disconnect from Technology: Constant connectivity can lead to burnout. The FOMO is real and can become an endless comparison loop with others you see on the screen. Turn off notifications during your leisure time, set some hard digital boundaries, and consider digital detoxes to unplug from the online world.
Redefine Success: Challenge your definition of success. It doesn't have to be solely about achievements and external validation. Success can also mean personal growth, well-being, and happiness. If you’re constantly failing to meet your expectations, it's not you who has the problem; it’s your expectations of yourself. Adjust your measures of success and move forward from there.
Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to break free from toxic productivity on your own, don't hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional. They can provide valuable guidance and coping strategies.
Making rest a priority is fundamental to breaking the toxic productivity cycle. When you rest, you recharge; when you're recharged, you can perform better and be more creative. It's a win-win situation that benefits both your personal and professional life.
By consciously making rest a priority, you'll break free from the toxic productivity cycle and lead a happier, healthier, and more balanced life. So, go ahead, take that break, and see yourself thrive.
What do you think?
Seven Types of Rest for Busy Brains
Busy brains require lots of rest. Let’s learn.
Just as our bodies need rest and recovery, our unique brains require a specific kind of break to maintain optimal functioning. As we explore the seven types of rest, you’ll begin to understand how to help yourself recharge and enhance your overall well-being.
Physical Rest: The foundation of rest remains the same for neurodivergents. Ensure you get 7-9 hours of quality sleep to allow your brain to repair and rejuvenate. Creating a sleep-friendly environment and establishing a consistent routine can be especially beneficial. But physical rest doesn’t stop there. You can also incorporate gentle movement into your day to keep your body feeling good.
Mental Rest: Neurodivergent minds often work in overdrive, processing information and making connections that others might not. To give your brain a break, practice mindfulness and meditation, adapting these techniques to your sensory preferences. These practices can reduce sensory overload and enhance mental clarity.
Sensory Rest: The sensory world can be overwhelming. I know it can be too much for me sometimes. It's crucial to recognize your sensory needs and create a safe space to “check out” from the sensory demands of the day—tools like noise-canceling headphones or weighted blankets can help you unwind. I also frequently crave silence, so I drive my car without music or podcasts to give myself that break.
Emotional Rest: Intense emotions are no surprise for neurodivergents. Acknowledging, processing, and expressing these feelings is crucial. Seek support from understanding friends, family, or therapists who can help you navigate the complexities of your emotional world.
Social Rest: While social interactions are essential, they can be so draining for neurodivergents. Establish boundaries to ensure you have time to recharge alone. Solitude allows you to recover from the demands of social interactions and reconnect with yourself.
Creative Rest: Neurodivergent minds are often brimming with creativity. However, this can lead to burnout. Take breaks from your creative projects, explore different creative outlets, and let your mind wander freely. This can help reignite your creativity and prevent overwhelm. One of my favorite ways to incorporate creative rest is to visit an art museum or garden, letting my mind take a break and consume instead of always creating.
Spiritual Rest: Finding meaning and purpose is essential for everyone, including neurodivergents. Connect with your inner self through methods that resonate with you. Explore meditation, prayer, or introspection to reflect on your values, goals, and aspirations.
Remember this: rest is not a sign of weakness but a crucial part of your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to rest: embrace your unique self and tailor these forms of rest to suit your specific needs. Take small steps towards integrating these practices into your daily routine and prioritizing your mental health. The world will always be demanding, overwhelming, and brash. It’s up to us to make rest a priority so we’re ready to take on the world.
What do you think?
Permission to Pivot: Embracing Change & Your Unique Path
Bored? Unmotivated? Learn ways to change things up.
Here's a little secret I'd like to share: change is not your adversary; it's your trusty companion on this incredible voyage of self-discovery and progress. I know change can be hard sometimes, but we must be able to give ourselves the permission to pivot.
Here are some green flags as to why pivoting may be just what you need to keep yourself going:
Goals Tailored to You: First things first, your goals are like your favorite outfit - they should fit you perfectly. They're not carved in stone; they're like soft clay, ready to shape and reshape as you see fit. As a neurodivergent, your path to success may look different from the norm, and that's absolutely okay. Let your goals be as flexible as you are.
Supercharge Your Strengths: Neurodivergent folks often bring unique talents to the table, like hyperfocus, creative thinking, or meticulous attention to detail. These strengths can be your secret weapons when making changes to reach your goals. Let them be your guiding stars, lighting up your path through the twists and turns of life. If you’re intensely interested in something, follow that interest and see where it leads.
Setbacks = Setups: When life throws you a curveball, don't think of it as a strikeout; think of it as a learning opportunity. As you pivot toward your dreams, you might stumble a bit. That's not a dead-end; it's a detour that can lead to incredible discoveries. Think of setbacks as your trusty GPS recalculating your route.
Lean on Your Community: Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Friends, family, or a group like the Accountable Otters Club— we're here to lend a hand. Don't hesitate to seek advice or a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes, a fresh perspective can help you navigate change more effectively.
Be Your Best Friend: Imagine you're talking to your dearest friend. Would you berate them for a small mistake or cheer them on for trying? Be as kind to yourself as you would to that friend. Change takes time, and setbacks are part of the deal. Treat yourself with love and understanding.
Celebrate the Small Stuff: Every step forward, no matter how teeny-tiny, is a victory worth celebrating. So, pop that virtual confetti and dance a little when you achieve something, no matter how small. Those small wins add up and build your confidence for the big changes ahead.
Keep Tinkering: Periodically, take a breather and reflect where you are on this journey. Are your goals still in sync with your heart's desires? If not, no worries! Don't be afraid to tweak and pivot. Your goals should be like a favorite recipe - adjust the ingredients until it's just right.
To wrap it up, remember that change is your co-pilot on this ride we call life. Allow yourself to pivot and shape your goals to fit your unique journey. Embrace your quirks, tap into your strengths, and be your own biggest cheerleader.
Your dreams are not far-off stars; they're waiting for you to draw them closer. So, hop on board and embrace change on your path of self-discovery and achievement.
What do you think?
Nurturing the Soul: Special Interests = Self-Care
How deep-diving into your special interest is a valid form of self-care.
The world can be a cacophony of sensory overload and social complexities, leaving many searching for a safe place to land. This is when we can lean into our special interests—a lifeline, a sanctuary, and a form of self-care uniquely tailored to neurodivergents.
Special interests are a hallmark of neurodivergence, providing fascination, comfort, and escape. These intense passions can span a spectrum as wide as the individuals themselves, from astronomy to anime, coding to cooking. Engaging in special interests isn't merely a hobby; it's a way of finding respite, understanding, and empowerment.
Here's how diving deep into one's special interest can be a powerful form of self-care for neurodivergent individuals:
Emotional Regulation: Special interests provide a safe haven for emotional regulation. When the world becomes overwhelming, immersing oneself in a beloved topic can offer a sense of control and stability, helping to soothe anxiety and stress.
Self-Expression: Special interests offer a unique channel for self-expression. Whether through creative endeavors like art or writing, or by actively participating in the interest itself, individuals can communicate their thoughts, ideas, and emotions in a way that feels authentic and liberating.
Connection and Community: Special interests can be bridges to like-minded communities. Engaging with others who share the same passion fosters a sense of belonging and support, reducing feelings of isolation that can often accompany neurodivergence.
Learning and Growth: Special interests encourage continuous learning and personal growth. The pursuit of knowledge and mastery within one's interest can be incredibly rewarding, boosting self-esteem and confidence.
Routine and Predictability: Many neurodivergent individuals thrive on routine and predictability. Special interests often provide a structured framework for daily life, offering a comforting rhythm in a world that can feel chaotic.
Mindful Engagement: Immersing oneself in a special interest is a form of mindfulness. It's a way of being present, of letting go of worries about the past and future and focusing on the here and now.
Self-Acceptance: Special interests are a testament to the diversity of human experience. They teach us to celebrate our unique passions and quirks, fostering self-acceptance and self-love.
Special interests are more than just hobbies—they're lifelines, offering solace, connection, and growth to neurodivergent individuals. So, whether you're passionate about collecting vintage vinyl records or dissecting the intricacies of quantum physics, embrace your special interest as an essential form of self-care. It's not just a pursuit; it's a path to inner peace, understanding, and celebrating your beautifully unique neurodivergent self.
Your turn: What are your special interests? What is bringing you peace and fulfillment?
The Anatomy of a RAFT Day
How can we RAFT without guilt?
As a burnout and accountability coach specializing in supporting neurodivergent individuals, I emphasize that rest is not a luxury but a vital necessity for our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Today, we'll explore why rest is so crucial, the breakdown of a RAFT in the AOC formula, how to shed the guilt with resting, and practical steps to incorporate restful moments into your daily life.
Why Rest Matters:
Recharge Your Batteries: Think of yourself as a smartphone - you can't keep going on a low battery. Rest allows your mind and body to recharge, helping you function at your best.
Mental Health: Rest is essential for maintaining good mental health. It reduces stress, anxiety, and depression while improving focus and cognitive abilities.
Physical Well-being: Quality sleep and regular breaks promote physical health, boost the immune system, and aid in muscle recovery.
Creativity and Problem Solving: Resting can lead to breakthroughs. When you give your mind time to wander, you're more likely to find creative solutions to problems.
RAFT is an acronym for reflection, assessing your progress, asking yourself how you're feeling, and thinking about your next steps. RAFT days are rest and reflection days, allowing your body and mind to evaluate where you are currently in your goal progression. Regular RAFTing is the highlight of burnout prevention, allowing you to recuperate without guilt.
Let’s break down each category for a deeper understanding behind the RAFT:
Reflection— A healthy practice while working toward a specific goal or recovering from burnout is to give yourself opportunities for reflection. Are you happy with the progress you’re making? If not, what is keeping you from feeling this way? Allow yourself to reflect.
Assess your progress— Taking a more analytical approach, assessing your progress can give you the chance to review your measures you’ve implemented to see if you’re still on track. Are you making the progress you expected? If not, why not? Perhaps an adjustment needs to be made.
How are you feeling?— Many times we can be making progress toward a goal, but we aren’t feeling very connected to it. Has something happened to make you feel this way? Is your goal in alignment with your values? Dig deeper into these feelings.
Think about your next steps— Now that you’ve been able to work through the RAFT, your final step is to visualize your next step moving forward. What will you do tomorrow or the next day? What about the following week? Setting these intentions will alleviate some of the stress that can come about.
Now, RAFTing, in practice, can look very different depending on what your goal is! A while back, Wendy emailed me about how she is actively working on her Yoga certification, so what an outside person may see as someone doing yoga regularly and relaxing is work for her. So, her RAFTing consists of going for walks with her dog, journaling, and spending time with her partner. Absolutely nothing with yoga! She also uses her RAFTs to check on her progress toward her certification.
Just like the ROMP, it’s important to remember the rule of three: no more than three full RAFTs in a row. This keeps you from losing your momentum in the work toward your goal.
Our “hustle culture” society has pounded into us that resting equals laziness, and we should feel guilty for even wanting to rest. Let me tell you right now that RESTING is probably the MOST PRODUCTIVE thing you can do as a human. Here are some ways to dissolve that guilt:
Reframe Your Perspective: Instead of viewing rest as laziness, consider it an investment in your overall well-being and productivity.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with work and personal commitments. Communicate your need for rest with those around you.
Challenge Societal Expectations: Understand that society's hustle culture doesn't align with everyone's needs. It's okay to prioritize rest over constant productivity.
Mindfulness Practice: Regularly practice mindfulness to reduce anxious thoughts during your rest periods.
Lastly, all the things discussed in this blog post would be impossible if we didn’t take a practical approach to incorporating rest into our daily lives. I’m not saying we need to be lounging on the beach in Cancun to achieve optimal “rest” (although that would be nice occasionally!), but rather weave rest into our day to feed our brains and bodies with restorative moments. Here’s a few suggestions on how to do that:
Scheduled Breaks: Plan regular breaks throughout your day, even if they're short. Use them to stretch, meditate, or simply breathe deeply.
Power of Naps: A short nap can rejuvenate your mind. Aim for 20-30 minutes to avoid grogginess.
Bedtime Routine: Develop a calming bedtime routine to ensure restful sleep. Take time to wind down and create a soothing atmosphere.
Mindful Activities: Participate in activities that relax you, such as reading, listening to music, or engaging in your special interest.
Social Support: Connect with friends or support groups who understand the importance of rest. Share your experiences and encourage each other. The Accountable Otters Club is here for you.
Professional Help: Seek guidance from a therapist or counselor specializing in neurodiversity and burnout if you find it challenging to manage guilt or stress.
Remember that you're not alone on this journey. By embracing RAFT days, making adjustments, and implementing a few of these strategies, you can better navigate the challenges of burnout, supporting your unique neurodivergent journey.
Rest is the secret weapon that empowers us to thrive, regardless of our neurodivergent experiences. Let it be your guiding light towards a healthier, more balanced life.
What do you think?
The Anatomy of a ROMP Day
What does a ROMP day mean for you?
In today's fast-paced world, juggling numerous responsibilities and commitments has become the norm. As our lives get busier, mastering the art of balancing these demanding days has never been more crucial.
The good news is that with our ROMP days' help, you can survive and thrive amidst the chaos in a way that works for your brain. What is a ROMP day, you ask? ROMP is an acronym that helps us categorize our “action” days, and it goes like this:
REGULAR
REALISTIC
OPPORTUNITIES
for MEANINGFUL
MEASURABLE
PROGRESS
Let's explore how these categories make a difference to help you maintain balance and bring purpose to your day.
REGULAR, REALISTIC OPPORTUNITIES—
To make headway toward our goals, we need to have a sense of persistence in creating the time and space to work on them. Notice I didn’t say consistency. Consistency is a good thing but can throw neurodivergent brains for a loop when we don’t meet the demands of a strict schedule. We can often find more effective ways to regularly progress on our goals by navigating our workloads based on our energy and interest levels. Adjustments can always be made when you have more or less energy.
MEANINGFUL, MEASURABLE PROGRESS—
As we work on our goals, we should attach meaning to what it is we are working on. This may look like alignment with our values, understanding the “why” behind what you’re doing, and reflecting on the motivation and end goal. We must also see the best way to measure our progress. Many times, I set deadlines for myself so I know what is coming. Other times, deadlines don’t work, and I need to take more time-based measures (assigning myself a number of hours to work on something.) However you decide to proceed with your goal progress, make sure it works for you. If it doesn’t, make those adjustments and move forward.
“Remember that you should avoid having more than three ROMP days in succession; this will help keep burnout at bay.”
As you work through a ROMP, here are some good tips to make the most of your action day:
1. Prioritize with Purpose: Begin your ROMP day by identifying your most critical tasks. Make a to-do list and categorize tasks based on their importance and urgency. Embrace the “2-Do List” method, where you list only two high-priority tasks to focus on each day. This approach prevents overwhelm and ensures you dedicate your energy to the tasks that truly matter.
2. Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for different tasks or categories. This technique enhances productivity by allowing you to immerse yourself fully in one task without distraction. Set boundaries and respect these blocks as you would any other appointment to avoid overextending yourself.
3. Learn to Delegate: Recognize that you don't have to do it all on your own. Delegate tasks that others can handle, whether it's at work or home. Trusting others with responsibilities lightens your load and empowers your team or family members.
4. Embrace the Power of “No:” Saying 'no' is not a sign of weakness; it's a declaration of your commitment to your priorities. Politely decline tasks or commitments that don't align with your goals or will stretch you too thin. Remember, every 'no' to something unimportant is a 'yes' to your well-being, and in the Accountable Otters Club, that is one of our core values.
5. Consolidate and Batch Tasks: Group similar tasks together and tackle them in one go. Respond to emails at specific intervals, make phone calls consecutively, or complete errands in a single trip. This minimizes transition time and boosts efficiency.
6. Learn to Adapt: Despite the best-laid plans, unexpected challenges may arise. Cultivate flexibility and adaptability. Have a backup plan to navigate those days when they come up (and they WILL come up!)
7. Reflect and Learn: At the end of each ROMP day, take a moment to reflect on what worked well and what could be improved. The reflection time will clarify what to work on next, whether it be another ROMP day or a RAFT day.
Structuring your ROMP day is an ongoing skill that requires patience, practice, and self-awareness. Using this effective strategy, you can regain control of your time, enhance your productivity, and foster a sense of accomplishment even on the most hectic days. Remember, the goal of a ROMP day is not to work ourselves to the point of exhaustion but to navigate it with grace and purpose.
What do you think?
Changes, Changes: Supporting Ourselves through Transitions with Ease
The only consistent thing in our lives is change. Let’s learn.
Living with ADHD and neurodivergence can bring unique challenges, especially when it comes to navigating through transitions in daily life. They can be overwhelming, causing stress and anxiety that we can’t afford to add to all of the other issues we are dealing with.
However, with the right strategies and support, you can learn to manage these transitions effectively and lead a more balanced life. As an accountability and burnout coach, I'm here to share some easy-to-follow tips that will support you through transitions without feeling overwhelmed.
Embrace Routine and Structure
Creating a daily routine and maintaining a fairly structured environment can work wonders for managing transitions. Set consistent times for waking up, eating, working, and relaxing. As much as it is a pain to think about having a daily routine, we can find comfort in the predictability of what’s coming next. Having a visual schedule on a whiteboard in your home or using a task management tool like Llama Life can help you stay organized and on track.
Break Tasks into Bite-Sized Pieces
Transitioning from one task to another can be annoying and sometimes frustrating, but breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps can make the process much smoother. Focus on completing one step at a time, and reward yourself after each accomplishment. Remember the “one-second party” or the mini celebration you can have after completing a task! A little wiggle and shake does wonders for our self-esteem. This can help motivate you enough to continue on your list and minimizes those feelings of overwhelm.
Use Timers and Alarms (as needed!)
Time management can be challenging for neurodivergent brains. I know it's been a pain point for me almost daily. Using timers and alarms can be extremely helpful when transitioning from one activity to another, even if you need to set multiple ones. Sign up for all the doctor appointment reminders to make sure you aren’t missing anything. This way, you won't lose track of time!
Practice Mindfulness Techniques
Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help reduce stress and improve focus. When you know a transition is coming up, take a moment to breathe deeply and ground yourself. After that breath, move on to the next task. Mindfulness can aid in centering your thoughts, making the transition smoother and more manageable.
Create a Transition Zone
Designate a specific area in your home or workspace as a "transition zone." This space serves as a buffer between activities, allowing you to shift gears mentally. Stock this area with calming items like a favorite book, a stress ball, or soothing music. Spending a few minutes in this zone before starting a new task can help you prepare mentally and emotionally for the transition. My transition zone includes my Hugimals Weighted Stuffed Cat, velvet purple sofa, small pothos plant, and Squishmallow! I typically have some lofi music playing and an essential oil diffuser going.
Implement Visual Cues
Visual cues can be potent tools for managing transitions. Use colorful sticky notes, checklists, or visual reminders to keep track of tasks and deadlines. Place these cues in visible areas like your desk, refrigerator, on doors, or a bathroom mirror. It’s not unheard of to find sticky notes all around my house! They can prompt you to transition smoothly from one task to the next.
Seek Support from the Accountable Otters Club
Let your fellow AOC members know about your struggles with transitions. Having a strong support system can be a game-changer. They can provide encouragement, accountability, and understanding during challenging times. Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it!
Celebrate Small Wins
It may seem silly to an outside person to celebrate that you were able to navigate your task list without issues, but for neurodivergent people, this truly is something to celebrate! No transition is too small. Positive reinforcement enhances your self-esteem and encourages you to face future transitions with confidence. And confidence for us seems hard to come by, so we will take it!
Navigating transitions in daily life doesn't have to be so incredibly overwhelming for us as neurodivergents. I’m hoping that these tips can help support you as you move throughout your day. As an accountability and burnout coach, one of my goals is to help you thrive, one transition at a time.
What do you think?
Goals Without Limits: Blue Sky vs. Airplane Window Thinking
How neurodivergents can adapt this thinking in a way that works for them.
A conventional way of approaching goal-setting and achievement can include something called "Blue Sky Thinking," or imagining what it would be like if there were no obstacles to achieving your goals. Very much taking the phrase "the sky's the limit" into practice.
While this type of thinking can kickstart a movement from idealization to action regarding our goals, I'd like to propose an adapted version of this for neurodivergent brains. I'll call it "Airplane Window Thinking" instead.
Picture this: As a neurodivergent brain, a deep understanding of our triggers and limits is necessary so we don't end up in a place of constant burnout. It can be especially difficult when we are presented with a grand idea but no real understanding of how to bring it to life. It can overwhelm us, make us nervous, and introduce things like imposter syndrome, anxiety, and procrastination, either by avoidance or another reason. It's like we've realized we are high up in the sky, falling without a parachute. Scary, right?
Blue sky thinking puts us up in the air with "no limits," and while that's cool for lots of folks, it feels outright terrifying for others. I like to have clarity, understanding, instructions, resources, and information to help me get up into the air safely and with a plan.
This is why "Airplane Window Thinking" makes more sense for neurodivergents.
We require so much more preparation before we can start thinking really broadly about our goals and dreams. Research and hyperfocus rabbit holes come to mind here. Talking to people who have been there and have lived experiences to share with us. This is us doing all the necessary work to "get on a plane" with its safety, procedures, rules, knowledge, and more already set up for us to arrive at "Blue Sky Thinking" in an environment we feel secure in.
Before we board a plane, we need a ticket. We can imagine the ticket as the permission we give ourselves to dream and think big. Once we have our ticket, we must go through security. Security can be seen as the checks we have with others around us who have pursued a similar path. We can gain reassurance and understanding that we have what it takes to move forward on our flight toward our goal. The airplane is a secure and comfortable place to experience our "blue sky thinking" without fearing something going wrong. In our minds, the airplane is the environment we create where our goals/dreams come to life. This may include our schedules, intentions, and boundaries we've set to make sure we are giving our goals the attention they deserve. The pilot would be a guide or mentor who objectively keeps us on track with accountability, helping you arrive at your destination.
The sky is the limit but must be reached on our terms. I want to have a clear itinerary, an oxygen mask handy, and the right support in place so I have the highest probability of reaching my goals.
What do you think?
Goals and Emotions
What our emotions have to do with our goals.
Our emotions possess remarkable power as tools to guide us along our path. At times, they may veer us in unforeseen directions. It is crucial to acknowledge and interpret each emotion as a valuable message, providing us with clear signals about our personal journey.
This reminds me of a Rumi poem, "The Guest House."
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Jelaluddin Rumi, as translated by Coleman Barks
As we move forward, it is essential to maintain the fundamental link between our goals and values. When feelings of resentment, guilt, and boredom start to surface, what messages are these emotions attempting to convey? Regularly tuning in to our emotions while striving towards our goals allows us and our nervous system to delve deeper into the work we are engaged in. It gives us the opportunity to connect on a much deeper level to our goals, making it that much easier to make steady progress on our terms.
Feelings of fear and nervousness can frequently arise within us, yet these fears aren't always negative. Exploring the root of that fear becomes just a part of that goal progress as any other. Is it rooted in the fear of failure? I know many of us deal with this. What about fear of success, which leads us to self-sabotaging behaviors? The fear of judgment keeps our emotions hidden from others. The fear of anticipating something exciting raises our awareness of what will come.
Experiencing waves of emotions throughout your journey toward your goals is completely normal. If you are NOT experiencing a grab-bag of emotions, it may be time for some values realignment. It's natural to feel a mix of fear and excitement, happiness and nostalgia, worry and hope. You are not alone in this. You have never been.
A community of people is here to support you in your goal progression.
Remember: Your emotions are trying to tell you something. Take a moment to LISTEN.
The Truth About Self-Care
What society gets wrong.
Have you ever wondered what the deal is with pushing "self-care" so much? We hear daily about making time and caring for our mental and physical well-being. Society pushes the "treat yourself" and the "take a bubble bath" messages, gaslighting us into thinking that something so simple could help solve the many issues we currently face.
Unfortunately, many of us understand that this isn't the case. This is called performative self-care, in which the root causes of our stress and anguish are pushed further down the road to deal with later, leaving us with a bandaid on a 3rd-degree burn.
Burnout is only fast-tracked in this case, leading to learned helplessness and hopelessness that our situations may never return to a more sustainable state.
So let's get to the truth about self-care.
Here are a few hard pills to swallow:
Self-care cannot solve systemic issues.
Things like capitalism, misogyny, racism, xenophobia, ableism, and fascism will continue to wear us down. What self-care CAN do in this case is to help preserve our peace in the face of these -isms. Self-preservation remains a vital part of this type of self-care. A massage will not help you smash the patriarchy, but a firm set of boundaries can.
You can be doing everything right and still be struggling.
At these times, you have to dig a little deeper into the purpose of self-care to discover the small victories that can help sustain you. Taking moments during your day to reflect on what you did accomplish to take care of yourself reminds you that even the teeniest, tiniest thing (like drinking water, making your bed, or brushing your hair, for example) can help bring satisfaction during hard times.
Delaying joy will make you miserable.
I personally have a tough time with this. I'm constantly putting off the things I like to do for the benefit of taking care of others in my family. Even if I take time to rest, care for my physical and mental well-being, and do all the "right" things, I can still feel bogged down. Weaving activities into your self-care routine that bring joy can make that time even more impactful. Do you like to play video games? Practice yoga? Maybe you're in a crochet or knitting club? Start with 15 minutes. Joy needs to be part of your self-care equation.
Now what does a self-care routine look like in real life? The answer is... it depends.
In an ideal world, self-care would be something we could incorporate into various time blocks in our day. It would include several types of self-care, including physical, mental, emotional, creative, sensory, spiritual, social, and more. It would be as unique as you are.
But we live in a world of intense pressure and expectations, so creating an ideal self-care routine feels more performative than anything. So let's do this instead:
Think about short transition times during your day. Waiting time while the coffee is brewing, sitting at a red light in traffic, hanging up the phone after a call, arriving home after running an errand, etc. These transition points range in duration from 30 seconds to 15 minutes. Think of small ways to weave in self-care at these times. Can you do some deep breathing? Say a prayer? Hum along to a favorite song? Take a short nap? Splash your face with water? Spend a few minutes in the sunshine? These small self-care acts can help reset your nervous system and cool down any stress that may be creeping up.
I won't write here and tell you that self-care is the antidote to all your problems because that is untrue. But it can help create an environment where you can begin to chip away at things that have been keeping you in an unsustainable way of life, which is never bad.
For more reading, I recommend looking at the Burnout Workbook, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, and Real Self-Care, by Pooja Lakshmin, MD.
I have two VIP coaching spots available for anyone looking for more focused support this season. I have coached my VIPs through university coursework and schedules, work and personal life balance, the transition between jobs and other life events, as well as burnout prevention and recovery. Most of my VIPs stick around between 6-8 months as they work through setting up sustainable routines and achieving peace with their current situations. Please email me at hello@accotters.com if you'd like to take advantage of this limited opportunity.
Until next time, friends.
P.S. Make sure you're following us on Instagram!
Early Signs of Burnout
Seven signs to help recognize those red flags.
Today, we will be deep diving into early signs of burnout in an effort to help you name the signs and call them what they are:
alarm bells that things need to change.
I was only able to recognize about four to five months AFTER beginning to have symptoms that burnout was what I was experiencing. I was struggling in my day-to-day life but had yet to recognize those early signs of burnout with enough time to understand how to turn it around before I reached total shutdown.
From my own lived experience, here are the signs that I was able to pinpoint and name:
Trouble sleeping: My sleep issues presented themselves as insomnia, the inability to stay asleep, and racing thoughts all night. I could not have consistent and reliable sleep patterns, leading to many other problems in my day-to-day life. I tried so hard to stay awake during the day, but the sleepless nights would absolutely take their toll on me.
Rumination of my to-do list: When I recognized this as a consistent red flag in my burnout recovery journey, I realized I had pitted myself against myself. I was never going to do enough to satisfy the running list in my mind, so it would NEVER be enough to make myself feel better. I noticed that I would dread resting because I felt the guilt pile on for taking time to myself. It was a constant stream of negative thoughts and feelings, drilling me further down the spiral.
Exaggerated inability to focus: One of the highlight symptoms of ADHD is the inability to focus on things that you have limited interest in, but in the case of burnout, I was experiencing this on a grander scale. Every day I would find my mind wandering to a foggy and empty wasteland, even if I was thinking about something I would normally love, like music or spending time with my family.
Quick to anger and irritability: My family was on the receiving end of so much anger and irritability and were some of the first people to help me understand that I was not acting like myself. Anything could set me off, and the overstimulation from my kids would put me in a very dark place.
Making careless mistakes: I lost the ability to care about my actions and decisions. I would make scheduling and editing mistakes and avoid regular business tasks like managing my finances. I ended up completely giving up and turning away clients because I couldn't handle any more on my plate.
Hobbies have lost their spark: The things that would bring me joy, like playing the piano and immersing myself in music, triggered my sadness and depression. I didn’t even want to touch the piano for weeks; it became a source of distress.
Dread socializing with friends and family members: I was no stranger to alone time, but this was on another level. I would stay home, isolated in my room in my bed, and feel utterly helpless. I would avoid conversations with my family, close friends, and even my children for fear of snapping at them.
This brings me to my questions:
Which signs, if any, are you recognizing in your life? Have you experienced neurodivergent burnout before? What is contributing to burnout in your day-to-day life?
I want you to remember that my burnout experience is why the Accountable Otters Club exists and why I designed the AOC formula with burnout prevention at the heart. Our membership is the definition of community care; safe, interpersonal interactions and accountability with like-minded humans on journeys to achieve their goals.
Visit the Community page to learn more about our membership programs.
The Not-So-Secret AOC Formula
Learn how to use the AOC formula to meet your needs.
After understanding the relationship between you and your goal and defining it, we must determine the best course of action to make it real.
the AOC formula breakdown
First, we take a calendar starting from TODAY and divide it into quarters or three-month chunks. Take your defined goal, and BROADLY name Level 1 Goals for your quarters.
Here's a good example:
Susan R.'s goal (which she permitted me to share!) is to change careers from marketing manager to self-employed social media coach. Go, Susan! She understands it may take longer than one year to achieve this, but it opens the door for her to begin managing her career on her terms.
Level 1 Goals:
Q1: Research & Review others in the field
Q2: Set up an Online Presence
Q3: Set up a Business Framework
Q4: Market & Solicit First Clients
They are not very specific, are they? That's the point. This is the view from an airplane window. We will get to specifics as we further break down your defined goal.
Next, each quarter contains three months, so we will take each Level 1 Goal and break it down to monthly Level 2 Goals. This is the bird's eye view.
They would look something like this:
Q1: Research & Review others in the field
Level 2 Goals:
Month 1: Find & follow ten social media coaches whose aesthetic matches what you're trying to create
Month 2: Engage on those social media coaches' pages, making connections and networking as you go
Month 3: Sign up for and take any free courses or workshops offered by these social media coaches
Q2: Set up an Online Presence
Month 4: Begin discovering your brand aesthetic, colors, vision boards, etc.
Month 5: Research online platforms & communities
Month 6: Choose platforms & tools, set up online accounts
…and so on with Q3 and Q4.
Level 3 Goals:
Your weekly goals within each month. This is where our goal starts to transform into measurable tasks. This is back down to earth view.
Here's an example using Susan's information:
Level 3 Goals for Month 1:
Week 1: Browse YouTube to discover some social media coaches. Follow a few.
Week 2: Browse Instagram for some social media coaches. Follow a few.
Week 3: Browse TikTok for social media coaches. Follow a few.
Week 4: List and review things that stuck out to you from these profiles/pages. What did you like, and what did you not like?
And that brings us to the most impactful part of our formula, the ROMP and RAFT: our daily progress.
When we arrive at the micro-task breakdown of our day-to-day progress on our goal, we will use my special classification, the ROMP, and the RAFT.
ROMP stands for:
REGULAR and REALISTIC OPPORTUNITIES for MEANINGFUL and MEASURABLE PROGRESS.
Why romp? When they are busy working on land, otters are "romping" (according to biology!)
A ROMP would be a day that you'd consider a "working day" to make progress on your task list related to your Level 3 goal. You'd work on these tasks and SCHEDULE them into your day to make it real.
RAFT stands for:
REFLECT, ASSESS, how are you FEELING, and THINK about your next steps.
Essentially, RAFT days are your rest days. Have you seen the classic photos of otters holding paws and floating on their backs in water? This is rafting!
A RAFT would be a day where no active work is being done related to your goal, but you conduct a small exercise of reflection, assessing your progress, reviewing your thoughts and feelings, and thinking about what's coming.
In Susan's case, she may have a few ROMPs and a few RAFTs during her week. Overall, she can measure her progress with a complete understanding of what is required while also choosing a pace toward her goal that matches her energy and time.
Take this as an opportunity to map out your own goal using the AOC formula. I hope it has given you a good framework to begin to chart out your goals in a way that remains sustainable and responsive to your needs.
Comment here and let me know how it went!
Co-Creation of our Goals
Defining your “what” in relation to your goals.
Goals help us navigate life in that ideal space between boredom and burnout. This can be difficult for neurodivergent humans, as narrowing down on something can give us a degree of FOMO (fear of missing out) on all the other amazing things we could be doing.
But how do you define your goal?
A goal is the "WHAT" you are reaching for or working on. It can start as something very broad and filter down into something more specific. Remember the relationship we defined in the previous post? Keep that in mind as you choose a goal.
Here's a good example:
Perhaps you'd like to start a blog. For many people, this may seem like a simple enough goal, but it includes LOTS more than just signing up on WordPress and writing. For the initial goal setting, I'd like you to think BROAD. To understand WHAT you're working on, you need to understand the WHY behind it.
Why do you want to start a blog? Are you looking to fulfill any areas of wellness? What about pursuing an alternative income stream? Is this blog meant to help you in your career or be something fun to escape from the daily grind?
The Eight Pillars of Wellness can help you determine your WHY: (adapted from self-love coach Dani DeBoulay's Authentic Alignment workshop)
Spiritual - defining your purpose, living your truth, honoring your authenticity.
Emotional - freely expressing yourself, understanding and processing emotions.
Social - surrounding yourself with people who love and support you, enforcing boundaries.
Career - current career reflection, are you achieving personal career goals?
Physical - paying attention to health and your body, spending time in nature, nutrition, and sleep.
Intellectual - learning new skills and perspectives, engaging in thoughtful discourse.
Financial - developing a budget, maintaining good spending and saving habits, and working on personal financial goals.
Environmental - taking care of your community, the Earth, and your surroundings, limiting power usage, disconnecting.
Ask yourself, "Why?" three different times.
Why do you want to start a blog?
So I can escape from the corporate rat race and be my own boss.
Why do you want to work for yourself?
So I can have the flexibility to take care of myself.
Why do you feel this particular way?
I've neglected my physical and emotional well-being and miss my friends and family.
Let's say you're starting a blog to shift your corporate copywriting job into an entrepreneurial venture (career and financial wellness). You've decided to prioritize your emotional and social well-being to allow yourself to recharge in the comfort of your own home (emotional wellness) and cultivate friendships with others who have seen very little of you these past few years (social wellness). These are response examples to your three Whys.
You've defined your WHAT and can now understand the WHY behind it.
Take a few minutes to journal about and try this exercise yourself. Let me know how it goes in the comment section below.
Our Relationship with our Goals
Have we been thinking about goals all wrong?
Have we been looking at goal-setting and achievement all wrong?
Hear me out.
Most of the talk around town surrounds the idea that a goal must be massive, leaving you feeling utterly incapable and lost. It's up to us to spend all of our energy, time, and resources to reach this "thing," "standard," or "ideal."
In the mind of a neurodivergent, it's no wonder we have so many issues coming up with goals and abandoning the path to reaching them so quickly. It can be very overwhelming to think "BIG," turning our initial novelty and drive into fear and ambiguity.
So let's turn this thing into something we can understand.
I want you to think of your goal as a person with whom you are in a healthy relationship or friendship. You are walking hand in hand with this goal, doing the steps and the work it takes to cultivate it and make it worth your time.
Sometimes you may need to take a few steps back from your goal, but like any healthy partnership, you use that time and space to come back with more perspective and understanding of what to do next. The path may be a bit scary at times, but knowing that you've forged a strong relationship with your goal will help you be brave in those moments of uncertainty.
This is part of how we creatively weave our goals into our daily lives. Like a strong relationship, we strive to keep progress, authenticity, and faith in ourselves in co-creating our goals.
Accountable Otters Club is designed with this imagery in mind, to understand how we center ourselves and our goals as co-creators. It will never be a "thing" that is so far removed from who you are that it feels like it will never come to fruition; it will always be something you realistically and consciously create.
This mind shift will help you stay accountable in realizing your goals. They are there! They always have been. You need to believe that you've already got what it takes to make them real.